Officially stressed

For some reason this week feels like there is 110% more stress than usual. I'm not sure if it is because I feel pressured to give the camp job a definitive answer or if it is because of all the homework and athletic training club responsibilities I have had. Lately I have been obsessed with looking for summer jobs ever since the camp job accepted my application. I guess I did not expect them to accept me after only one day. The reason I am so hesitant about signing the contract is A) the contract states I'd be paid as a student and they will switch my pay to 400 once certified, but who's to say they will once I sign B) it is a 6 week commitment of working 7 days a week for God knows how many hours a day C) I'd be underpaid and overworked and D) It is my last summer of "freedom" before my 3 full years of hell begin. Okay, so hell is a bit of an exaggeration...more like... prison? no...torture?...okay maybe not.... but needless to say this is my last summer to spend with friends and family before I dedicate my every waking hour towards getting my doctorate. Call me selfish, but I've been told to enjoy this summer while I can even though I need some money to put food on my table and a roof over my head. Although sneaking into the library at night could be an option..(ha). It'd certainly be more of an incentive to study more. Anywho...

On top of the stress of finding a job for the summer (such an easy task) I have been preparing the presentation for Bill Irwin, the only blind person to hike the Appalachian Trail. Not to mention the immense amount of homework that makes me dizzy. Speaking of dizzy...Patrick (my boy friend) tried to crack my back this weekend while I was lying prone, but it did not work very well so I stood up, but the blood rushed from my head. He proceeded to grab me and pick me up and crack my back while standing, but due to the lack of blood flow to my vital organ I passed out and fell onto the bed. I can only laugh when I think about it, but it was kinda scary waking up with a cold feeling/sound in my ears. Of course he wasn't the least bit worried. I suppose being in the military you get use to the cadets passing out left and right from having their knees locked. Just thought that was an interesting tangent....

So in order to get back on track and actually get some homework done instead of spend 6 hours obsessing over jobs, I listened to some Bach that I found on Youtube. Of course this search led to child prodigies of children who are 6 years old composing their own works and then led to babies who can read. Yes...procrastination. And so "Senioritis" begins. Pray for me ...please?

But I did finally sit myself down and crank out 30 pages of reading on a book on Gandhi. It won't help me pass the BOC, but hopefully human traditions. I then decided to vent here so that I can start fresh tomorrow and get back on track. Ah, college...or life I should say. I wish I could be more like Gandhi...

"A principle is the expression of perfection, and as imperfect beings like us cannot practice perfection, we devise every moment limits of its compromise in practice."